November 2007 Archives

Over the past couple of days, an explanation for the damaging pictures that have been circulating around the Internet has emerged. The pictures I am concerned about are the ones showing a girl in handcuffs and the photographic proof that Infante was at the camp, despite a lifetime ban by USA Gymnastics. It bothers me greatly that not only it is a fact that Infante was there and participated in activities, but that he was allowed to touch girls and in one picture appeared to be about to spank a young girl. Given that the USA Gymnastics ban was based on credible evidence, it is unforgivable that the organizers of the camp would allow Infante to participate in any capacity. It is also inexcusable that USA Gymnastics did not report what they learned to the police nearly a decade ago.

The handcuff pictures show DiTullio, and apparently an off duty police officer who was dating one of the coaches, applying handcuffs to a 12-13 year old girl to her wrists and ankles and then coupling them together to hogtie her. The explanation for this, that I have heard verbally from some who were involved, is that everyone in the room consented to it and there was a desire to feel what it would be like to be handcuffed and to try to get out of an awkward situation. Some of these people are saying I took the pictures out of context and I am doing harm by writing about this. While there may have been no harm intended and while the girl involved-and others who witnessed it-may not have felt it was harmful, it does not make what was done right. Ever. The context does not matter.

I will leave it to others to determine whether what happened was a crime. Consider this was a gymnastics camp where kids as young as 8 years old attended. It was not a camp to learn about magic or Houdini. I highly doubt that parents who allowed their kids to go to the camp knew that something like that was going to happen. And the fact that my 8 year old was encouraged to attend this very camp makes me wonder what effect this would have on younger kids. Even if the younger kids were not in the room, what happened could have found its way back to them. There is no excuse for this deplorable and disgusting behavior by adults. Ignorance is certainly not an excuse that anyone should accept.

As I said in a previous post, often our first instinct is to rationalize experiences even if they are wrong. If you can rationalize what happened, then so be it. But I believe doing so makes our kids drastically less safe. Apparently the authorities did not rationalize it in the same way that some parents have nor have prominent psychiatrists I have talked to about this.

In a separate incident, it has been widely reported that this fall DiTullio taped four gymnasts' mouths closed with tape going under their chin and over their heads. There was a mixed reaction from parents and not an apology by DiTullio or any admission of wrongdoing. Apparently the girls involved, including one as young as 9, were not upset over the incident. And, so, apparently that makes it okay? Again, this goes to my point about kids-and apparently adults-rationalizing their experiences. From these two examples, the taping and handcuffs, it appears a pattern is emerging of abuse of power, at the minimum, that is troubling to say the least.

Related Posts:

• Five Star Gymnastics Renamed to 10.0 Academy (2/8/2008)
• The Role of the Media in Abuse Scandals (11/29/2007)
• Gymnastics Abuse Scandal Unfolds (11/28/2007)
• Sad News Comes to Stow (11/26/2007)

What is the role of the media in a scandal like this? Fox25 showed the damaging images on television news. Is it right? Does this do more harm than good? Should I post details as they emerge? Am I doing more harm than good?

I am well aware that media reports are traumatizing to victims who are involved. This is why in my initial public statement I paid particular attention to the alleged victims. I am also aware that when the Catholic church abuse scandal broke out, I was terrified, because I was a victim. When my abuser was named and details of my abuse were made public on the newswires, it was intensely difficult. I understand this response by victims.

However, there is a larger societal issue to consider. If we merely sit by and let the justice system quietly proceed without the media, what do we learn as a society? Why, we must ask, does the DA's office issue press releases in the first place? Why was our paper, The Stow Independent, able to access the Connecticut court documents so easily? Surely justice officials see the important role of the press.

The media is what caused the whole church abuse scandal to become what it was and changed the statute of limitation laws, "reformed the church", and found some justice for victims. Without the media there is no outrage. There is no change.

Do I think parents get it? Do they need people like me posting about it? Honestly, I think some don't get it. I understand some parents don't want to think they put their kids in a potentially abusive situation. I have seen people not face things and sweep abuse under the carpet. Often. I understand human beings' capacity to want to rationalize things that are difficult. Denial is strong. The catholic abuse scandal was not met initially with belief. It eventually triggered outrage and people spoke up and had rallies and affected change. It became so big it seemed it was all people talked about for at least a year.

There is a societal healing that takes place from talking about what is uncomfortable. Talking and sharing brings the abuse out of the darkness and into the light where it should be. If we are silent, if we do not talk to one another about what is going on, then what chance do we have to come together and make a statement on behalf of our community and stop the scourge of abuse of our children that is at least as prevalent today as it ever has been?

Related Posts:

• Five Star Gymnastics Renamed to 10.0 Academy (2/8/2008)
• Explanation for Pictures Emerges (11/30/2007)
• Gymnastics Abuse Scandal Unfolds (11/28/2007)
• Sad News Comes to Stow (11/26/2007)

The Stow Independent newspaper today reported additional details and made connections in this case that appear not to be reported elsewhere. Specifically, the articles said that:

• Leslie King, Media Relations Director for USA Gymnastics, confirmed that in 1998 Infante was banned for life and was not permitted to participate in any USAG sanctioned meets. As recently as December 2006, a gymnastics judge from Massachusetts saw Infante participating at a sanctioned meet directed by DiTullio and demanded he be removed.

• Court documents in Connecticut make allegations that DiTullio engaged in sexual activity with a 17 year old gymnast.

• In 1993, there are witnesses that allege DiTullio gave "hickeys" to gymnasts. According to the documents, an employee confronted DiTullio, he admitted he caused the marks, and shortly thereafter fired the employee.

• On the Five Star Gymnastics door there is a written statement by DiTullio saying he has no connection with Five Star Gymnastics Overnight Camp. However, the Five Star Gymnastics' own website states he is director of this camp.

• Records indicate the female gymnast whose wrists and ankles were handcuffed was between 12 and 13 years old at the time the picture was taken in 2006.

• Another written statement by DiTullio said authorities have "confused two different men with the same first name as well as the name of similarly named gymnastics programs."

My concern now is that DiTullio not coach any children until this investigation is concluded and a judgement about his guilt or innocence is made. It has been reported that he has voluntarily removed himself from working with children and will be doing administrative work.

If someone thinks that sexual incidents with a 17 year old is not so bad since it's "almost legal"-DiTullio is 53-consider that it's not just an issue of age. DiTullio is a person in authority who has considerable influence in children's lives. Many of these kids spend upwards of 20 hours at gym per week. Often they come home from school, go to gym, go to bed. They may see more of their coach than their parents. Also, it's often true that a 17 year old gymnast started at the gym when she was quite a bit younger. She might feel comfortable with or even develop an infatuation for her coach, possibly in the context of "grooming". It's the coach's responsibility to respect the boundary between what is right and what is wrong. Abuse of authority is common and reprehensible whether it occurs with a 17 year old or even an adult.

As to the other "evidence" like the images on the web I say this: even if there is some context that explains things like handcuffing a 12-13 year old girl, it still doesn't meet the smell test. We are designed as humans to rationalize our experiences. Whole societies can get brainwashed into thinking something is right when in fact it is very very wrong. Just look at World War II Germany.

While I am acutely sensitive to child abuse, especially child sexual abuse, I did not ever wish for this to happen. My family was a member of the Five Star "family." We trusted DiTullio. Indeed the Five Star Mission as quoted from their website is: (1) to encourage each child to grow emotionally and physically, (2) to help each child express themselves through gymnastics, (3) to foster acceptance of self and others, and (4) to make each child's day brighter through positive reinforcement. The disconnect between the stated mission and the allegations emerging in this case could not be more dramatic.

I am saddened by the lives that are being affected and the damage this will cause to our close community. I hope our town and its neighbors can come together and stand united in protecting our children.

Related Posts:

• Five Star Gymnastics Renamed to 10.0 Academy (2/8/2008)
• Explanation for Pictures Emerges (11/30/2007)
• The Role of the Media in Abuse Scandals (11/29/2007)
• Sad News Comes to Stow (11/26/2007)

Last week, news came out of our town that is most unfortunate. Our children's gymnastic coach and his friend were indicted for crimes against children. The full indictment can be found on the Middlesex County District Attorney's Website.

I have the following public statement to make on this situation that will appear in The Stow Independent's "Over the Post" section:

Additionally, there are images circulating on the Internet showing a girl on the floor being handcuffed and hogtied by DiTullio at the 2006 Five Star Gymnastics Camp. There is another image of Infante about to slap a girl on her behind. I don't know what to make of these images, but they do not look explainable to me.

Related Posts:

• Five Star Gymnastics Renamed to 10.0 Academy (2/8/2008)
• Explanation for Pictures Emerges (11/30/2007)
• The Role of the Media in Abuse Scandals (11/29/2007)
• Gymnastics Abuse Scandal Unfolds (11/28/2007)